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FIFO Families – Get Organised In The Overwhelm

I recently did a short talk at a FIFO family event in Perth, (hence why there are so many children running across the stage!)

In the video below I will share with you the systems and processes that have worked for my clients and our family over the years.

Keeping to a set routine when Separated by Work is challenging. Every family has different needs and every working away roster has unique demands. Yet having a plan and being organised will decrease the overwhelm, and you will be better able to cope with the day to day tasks and responsibilities.

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Over being overwhelmed in January?

As you enter the shops and see the isles filled with exercise books, pens and pencils; pass the shoe stores and notice that black and white shoes have taken over much of the floor space – you realise that back to school is fast approaching.

Apart from the cost of purchasing school supplies, there is a sudden realisation that madness is fast approaching – before, during and after school activities, homework expectations, uniforms to be constantly cleaned and pressed, and making sure there is enough food to prepare and pack!

My eldest is 21 years old and my youngest is 9.  I have had many years of getting it wrong, getting it right, and most years it is a bit of both!  Here I share my top 18 tips to support you being better prepared and be more productive this upcoming year.

  1. Plan and prepare to avoid chaos. This includes weekly schedules, lists and weekly meal and shopping plan. Create a flexible routine that works for your family – from waking to bedtime.
  2. Have a central calendar in the house that all family members have access to with events written on it that are coming up.
  3. At least a couple of times a week make double the evening meal and freeze half for those nights when you run out of the time or enthusiasm to cook.
  4. Make time to bake each week.
  5. Make lunches and get uniforms ready the night before. We all think we will get it done in the morning, but sometimes it is just such a rush and adds so much pressure when trying to get you and your children ready and out the door!
  6. Have bags packed and checked ready to go the night before (including the hat).
  7. I think it’s never too early to give children some responsibility –tasks that you know they can complete for their age and abilities.
  8. Give children checklists – good for parents too!
  9. It is the perfect time to have conversations with your children when driving around with your kids in the car. They can’t get out or walk away!
  10. Take weekly time out for you to de-stress and reward yourself.
  11. Get proper sleep so you have the energy each day needs and avoid getting run down and common illnesses.
  12. Eat well to feel good and keep up. Feed your kids well to keep them healthy and calm.
  13. Remember to breathe – sometimes we just need to stop, take a couple of deep breathes and then proceed.
  14. Keep at least one day free on a weekend to relax and have fun with your family.
  15. Be kind to yourself.
  16. Ask for help when you need it!
  17. 30, 30, 30 and 30 every day! 30 minutes for quiet time for you, 30 minutes listening to your children with enthusiastic interest, 30 minutes for your partner and 30 minutes making sure you have cleared your day and are prepared for tomorrow.
  18. Get up each morning with a grateful affirmative attitude and a desire to meet all challenges with a smile.

As parents, we are constantly creating, re-inventing and re-shaping whilst keeping up with all the demands and challenges of each day. Creating routines and being organised will keep everyone on the same page and help you make sure you go to bed each night feeling a sense of peace and achievement – well most days!

What can you do differently this year to make your school and work weeks run smoothly?

Kirsty 🙂

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Become a Master Blender


I would like to introduce one of my favourite parenting strategies – blending.

I have become a master blender—I can blend activities to make sure that everyone’s needs and wants are met. I can blend to create a learning or fun space for my kids while I am getting a job done or relaxing. I find blending offers many opportunities to connect with my children, hear them, and be present with them completely. As my children grow I make changes to fit in with their needs and values at their current age.

blender-576331_1280Most activities can be blended. Just be aware of the ones that require your 100 per cent focus and place those in your calendar at a time when there are no interruptions. Once you identify the blend-able ones you can work them into your weekly scheduling. I have grouped activities by age to get you started. There are many more depending on your area, family situation, and family interests. Get together with your family to create more ideas.

Six activities for five and under-

  1. Baking and cooking together. Children enjoy watching, stirring, and touching. There is something about food that brings a family together. Give them their own bowl and let them go for it. You get your kitchen tasks done and have a chat and bond along the way.
  2. Walking (either pram-ing it or on their little bikes). Great way to get out, exercise, and talk about bugs, butterflies, birds, and trees.
  3. Meet friends at the park. Big people and little people combination time.
  4. Reading a book. Don’t forget the all important tickle time.
  5. From about three years old, let them help you clean. Give them their own cloth and/or bucket of plain water and guide them through the task.
  6. Sing and dance together.

Ten activities for primary school ages-

  1. Baking and cooking. Both my older children can bake and make a couple of main meals. Very helpful on make your own dinner night.
  2. Get out and kick a ball or play catch. Good for developing their skills and revisiting yours, and lots of laughing.
  3. When at sporting practise, catch up with new and old friends, take a book you have been meaning to read or listen to your music. Remember to watch them too.
  4. Brush your daughter’s hair and style it, play make up, paint each others’ finger nails and swap foot massages— Dads can do this too.
  5. They can read to you or practise their dance rehearsal while you do the dishes.
  6. Plan holidays, meals, and weekly activities together.
  7. For boys, lots of hugs, draw monsters and aliens, and build an indoor car tunnel and ramp out of toilet paper rolls.
  8. Play cards and board games. Join in on their video/ computer games. It can be a quick or long game—the point is to learn, laugh, and connect.
  9. Read with them. Have a time each week where you all lay out on your bed or carpet and read. Each one of you has your own book, it is just quiet time spent together, no talking; just learning to be in a room silently with someone you care about.
  10. Watch movies with them. Bring out the popcorn, blankets and turn the lights out. We have movie night every Friday and the kids love it.

Eight activities for high school ages-

  1. Afternoon snacks around the bench. Great time to chat about their day. They don’t tend to move while food is there.
  2. Go out to dinner and movies date. Go to a big people’s restaurant, rather than McDonalds.
  3. Play cards and board games.
  4. Plan holidays together.
  5. Just be there. The most important thing is to be there for your pre-teen and teen. Be present and withhold adult Talk to them about you and your day often. Don’t expect lots of conversation—yet be open for it.
  6. Shopping—especially for the girls.
  7. Extreme days out. Try rock-climbing, abseiling, swimming at a waterhole, or something in your area that is different. Their curiosity will get them wanting to join you and join in.
  8. Offer to do pick up and drop off to their destinations, sporting events, parties, and friends houses. Allow it to fit into your schedule as much as possible. It is a perfect time to be in touch with what they are up to, meet the friends, chat in the car (they can’t get out) and show you support them.

I make time each day for all my children to have one-on-one contact time. They know that in that moment I am just with them, for them, and not distracted by anything else. I am all ears, eyes, and heart. I ask questions to get them talking. This is the time I enjoy the most, even if it is just a few minutes.

What I like is that for that few minutes I get to look through a window into their rapidly changing world, and understand a little bit more about how it is for them.

How can you become a master blender, or how are you already juggling it all?

Kirsty 🙂


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Get Organised – Plans to be on Purpose


Everyone needs times dedicated to pausing and updating their life and family plan. There is truth in the saying, “For every minute spent organising, an hour is earned.” Instead of being on fast-forward, rewind, or even continuous play—stop, plan, and get organised.

At this point, I have seen many run to the hills of disorganisation, the land of the known and familiar. Instead of planning and implementing, they procrastinate. I challenge you to eat the elephant beetle—which means conquering the hardest and least desirable task first—so you can forever overcome disharmony and overwhelm.

There are countless time management and organisational resources out there—books, blogs, experts, and online forms. Some will work and some won’t. To get you started here are some of my suggested organisation and routine activities. My biggest piece of advice though—as time never changes, yet what can change are the choices made in the time available, always practise choice management, rather than time management.

Have a weekly plan, which creates a flexible routine.

A routine provides the freedom to focus on what is being done in the moment, knowing that all the activities to be accomplished will be done efficiently and effectively—the right things, in the right order. Many stumble whilst doing the right things in the wrong order. Meaningful routines create a happier, calmer, and less stressful environment.

Without a plan or routine days turn into weeks, and the weeks turn into months it all becomes a blur – the purpose of it all can be drowned out by the constant demands. Many times, I have viewed my days as a stream of things to do and busy-ness.


Take a moment now and reflect on your past week. Each week should contain all or some of the following activities and tasks. Did yours?

  • You time—reading, relaxing, entertainment, rest, hobby, fun, gardening, meditating, journaling, and time to generate new ideas.
  • Body time—Exercise, Yoga, massage, sport.
  • Connecting with others—Family, friends, sport, volunteer or community involvement.
  • Parenting duties—School drop offs and pick-ups, sporting events, tutoring, general running around, homework, fun time together, connecting and being present with your child/ren.
  • Home duties—cleaning, maintaining, general upkeep of house, groceries, finances, ironing, cooking.
  • Study—Assignments, credentialing, recognition from a regulatory body, seminars, researching, continual learning.
  • Work—Employed position.
  • Work—Own business. Delivering the product/ service that is core to your role, admin, course/product development, finances, networking, and professional collaboration.

I would like to point out that you time is at the top of this list. You time is commonly the first thing to go or be down graded to an activity of least importance. If this is happening for you or a member of your family, take time to re-prioritise. Without looking after you first, any routine is difficult to maintain and run-down people get sick.

An example of my weekly planner (which is pictured below) is printed on a sheet of paper I have on my pin-board. I like choosing a different colour for each area, as indicated in the picture, as this has more impact visually for me. In each coloured section I also have written what particular activity it is that I plan to do in that time.

Time Choice Management Schedule

This is a valuable tool for me and has been used by many of my clients. You may like to make your own, change colours, times, or activities. What matters is that this gives you a chance to view your whole week, what you do and how you can do it better.

Have a list.

I love a good list. I have an overall to-do list, a daily to-do list, a grocery list, a work list, a home list, list for gifts, and the list goes on! From watching me make lists over the years my children now have the list-making bug. My youngest son has lists of movies he wants to see, a list for Santa (usually started in April), and a list of jobs to do. My daughter makes lists for presents (she is a gift- giver by nature), a shopping list, which she calls a budget, and a dream list.

A question that I ask myself at numerous times during the day is, “What is the best use of my time right now?” This question is an opportunity to look at my list and see what I could be doing in the time I have right now and the energy I have available to me. Without my lists, I can very easily be distracted and taken off task.

Lists and weekly planning are the most effective way to improve overall performance, both personally and professionally. Wasted time is irreplaceable.

Stick with it to create a habit.

Daily disciplines create the changes in our lives. It takes about 28 days to create new habits. At about week two resistance, distraction, and lack of focus raise their unhelpful heads. This is the testing time. This is the time to push that bit harder, knowing why it is important to be organised and on purpose. Seek and gain support and take one day at a time. You can do it!

K x


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Family meals – your sanctuary or struggle-street?

We are delighted to introduce Deb Blakley – a Brisbane Dietitian, Nutritionist, owner of Kids Dig Food, and mum who is passionate about kids learning to love good food from birth and beyond.  She is going to be regularly contributing to our blog and is featured on our resources page for FIFO families.

Deb-Business Portrait sm_018 THUMBNAIL AVATARDeb is an Accredited Practicing Dietitian & Accredited Nutritionist, recognised by the Dietitians Association of Australia and is an accredited practitioner of the Sequential Oral Sensory (SOS) Approach to Feeding for fussy eaters and problem feeders.

Over to Deb –

I know first-hand how hard it is to get a meal on the table when you’re doing it alone – how it feels for most “sometimes solo” parents.  Some days I simply don’t have the energy to cook a meal when my husband is away.

I do all of the cooking whether he’s home or away. Lucky he’s a great washer-upper! He is always more appreciative of a tasty dinner than our daughter is – so when he is not there, my heart isn’t quite in it as my efforts seem to go unnoticed. Then there’s the inevitable frustration of cooking for kids who are fussy eaters or as we say at Kids Dig Food, “kids who are still learning to like new foods.”

I’m a foodie and I love cooking, yet I know it can be hard some days. I know that for many of my clients who don’t particularly like preparing food, it’s 100 times harder.

What I want you to know is this: Meal times don’t have to be tough. They can actually be your sanctuary. They can be a space where you can connect with your kids when your partner is away, and re-connect as a family when everyone is under the same roof.

When I reflect on my own family meal time experiences I notice this:

  • Meal times can be a great source of comfort and connection for my child and I.
  • Meal times only become a struggle when we focus on the wrong things.
  • Serving “easy” dinners doesn’t mean I’m a bad mum.
  • When my husband is home, meal times are the glue that brings us all back together.

But how do you turn meal times from disorganised chaos to your happy place?

My top tips for making meal times your sanctuary when you’re solo parenting are:

Have a set of meal time rules that everyone needs to learn to follow. Try these ones out.

Eat with your kids whenever you can, at any meal or snack time. Show your kids that you can enough about you to make meals a priority. Shift the evening meal earlier if your kids “hit the wall” early and then enjoy a calming cup of tea or glass of wine later after the kids have gone to bed.

Use a pre-meal time routine to help prepare kids to come to the table. This is especially helpful for kids who find it difficult to settle down enough to sit & eat. An example routine could be: (1) Turn the TV off/pack away game, (2) Wash and dry hands, (3) Stomp to the table like a dinosaur/flitter like a butterfly, (4) Put the placemats out or cups on the table (5) We sit and eat.Do something to make the space feel calm and inviting, even if you’re feeling the opposite- put some calming music on, light a candle or pick flowers from the garden.

Have some easy go-to dinners for nights when things get a little crazy. Frozen leftovers, scrambled eggs or baked beans on toast or my 15 minute pasta smash are all fabulous nutritious choices that will help fill everyone up in the minimum time possible. Have a cook-up when your partner is home to make it easier on you when you’re solo. Try out these great recipes you can freeze for later:

Salmon & Caper patties – Defrost and pan fry each side for 2-3 minutes. Serve these with a salad or veggies and crusty bread.

Aunty Em’s Yummy Beef Casserole – serve with steamed greens and potato or bread to mop up the gravy.

Cheat’s Spinach & Ricotta Cannelloni – simply make up a double batch of the cannelloni, freeze and add your sauce when you’re ready to cook it. This is lovely served with a garden salad too.

Chicken & Veggie Nuggets – pop then in the oven straight from your freezer and serve them with whatever you like. Home made so you know exactly what’s in them. Excellent!

Chicken & Sweetcorn Soup – the simplest and tastiest soup ever. Make a double batch and freeze half for later. Don’t forget some gorgeous crusty bread for this one. If your little ones aren’t a fan of the “green” bits, give them the option to add it or not right at the end. Read more about getting your kids to enjoy soup in my blog post.

Never back a fussy eater into a corner with food. Always serve at least one food that your children usually enjoy at every meal or snack time. Try where possible to make this a food that fits with the meal you’re serving. Pick from your child’s usually eaten/safe food list.

Deconstruct meals to suit your children’s sensory preferences. It’s OK to serve veggies raw if Madeline prefers them that way; or to separate the pasta from the meat sauce for Jake. If we’re all eating the same food, we’re still sharing the same meal.

And when your partner comes home: Stick to the same meal time rules. Stick to the same routine. Both be “on the same page” with your meal time strategy. Help each other.

Enjoy the wonderful space you’ve created to get fed, chat about your day, explore food and most importantly enjoy and nourish each other.

If you’re struggling with a fussy eater or not sure what to do about introducing first solid foods to baby, check out Kids Dig Food workshops and online video courses for support. The next workshop is in North Lakes, 27th February 2016 at 9.30-11.30.

Eat happy! Deb





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What is it with the 2nd half of January?

I just want to say after the end of year rush, preparations for holidays and celebrations and making sure all is in order and sorted for the beginning of a new year and I made sure I have had the expected time out to regroup and relax… why then does the 2nd 1/2 of January always feel so overwhelming, unfocused and just so full on?  Is that just me or do many feel this way?
I could feel the build up coming this week.  A beautiful balance of great things, new opportunities miraculously showing up for me, great bonuses and loving my exercise routine, then there was kid issues, tiredness, challenges, scattered thinking, overwhelming prospects of fitting ‘it’ all in and feeling like a whole realignment of my being was happening pulling me like taffy in a taffy machine.  Don’t get me wrong, I thrive on being stretched and problem solving; however this all just got to the point where dust on my blinds was nearly the end of me!

So what did I do…. bundled Mr 6 in the car, went and got coffee from my favourite coffee shop and got home and phoned a friend.  I rang ‘my Gail’, my closest friend.  Our friendship has no rules, no boundaries, no expectations and I knew without a doubt I could ring and feel better by the end.  I began by complaining about the mess, the kids rooms, the day in day out routines, the stuff I needed to do, the stuff I wanted to do, the way I was feeling angry for no identifiable reason….. Then I talked about what I was so very grateful for, and how these little things shouldn’t matter, but damn it they did right now!  What was with that? I then said I felt like I was being remoulded in a very uncomfortable way, like I needed to be different yet so many things still needed to be done.  As we were talking I revisited my intentions for this year and as I was reflecting I realised that just the night before I had begun focusing on decreasing unclear thinking, lack of focus and procrastination in my life… Doh… Ask and you shall receive!  To stay in line with all that I really want to achieve this year, of course old habits, things in the way and things that no longer serve me are going to come into focus.  Ever noticed that?

After an hour and a half, I felt a weight lifted, I didn’t feel alone and unsupported.  I decided that yes today I felt overwhelmed, cranky and crappy, however I get to choose if this defines me or I can just accept that for a day and let my energy change to flow where there is least resistance, in line with my intentions.  Well…. after that my husband called (isn’t funny how they just know when to ring and say hi), he had some great news and it was so good to hear his voice and by 2pm yesterday afternoon, all workshops booked in thus far for the year are on website, ticketing set up, f/book events updated.  This morning I have been for a run, weeded the gardens, laughed with Mr 6 and feel so much better, to the point I even have time to write this blog to share with you.

The moral of the story for me was acceptance, remembering what I was asking for and also be aware when life is full it is ok to just put one foot in front of the other and still feel good.  School will return, rooms will get cleaned, dinner will get cooked, I will always be 100% in my work… sometimes it just takes accepting that I don’t have to be 150% everyday.

Kirsty 🙂

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Being Patient Isn’t That Easy

I am facing many changes and re-inventions at the moment.  Personally and professionally there are many things begun, beginning and ending.  I feel slap bang in the middle of a hurry up and wait game.  Have you ever felt this way, or are you feeling this way right now?

Mind you, during this time I must admit that I am learning heaps about myself, trying new things and habits and have time to sit and contemplate better and bigger ways of doing things.  For someone like me though it can be a frustrating time where the self-discipline muscles are taking a beating.

I often tell people that this is the time you can ‘clean out your basement’ (not literally, more about clearing out those things mentally, emotionally, physically and materialistically that no longer serve you or you don’t really need anymore).  I also tell them to fall in love with the process of life, everything, I believe, has a meaning and purpose, so look for that meaning, find that lesson, and if all else fails don’t waste the moments of this time as you will never get them back.  Wise words you might say; however when you are in the thick of it the sentiment seems to be lost a bit!

So here I am playing the hurry up and wait game.  Waiting to see if my son will become the man I know he is capable of, waiting to see the results of all the preparations in my business to reinvent itself to the next level, allowing my body to heal in its time after a lot of stress to be back to 120%, waiting for my husband to get home so we can get to that home to do list, waiting for the ‘opportunities’ to present themselves, waiting for the inspired moment when we decide where our next big holiday adventure will be, waiting for conversations around upgrading my computer/technology, waiting for the next big thing!  The only surety right now is that my daughter is doing so well, my little one is the happiest most resilient being on the planet, love my husband to the moon and back and I have loads of opportunity for my own personal and spiritual development.

I must admit, I think I am a bit of an adrenaline junky.  Not in the bungy jump type way, in the way that I work best under pressure, I perform best when my schedule is full to overflowing, and I love unravelling a good problem.  I must also admit that is probably why I ended up with adrenal fatigue and felt like I was chasing my tail often.

So today I am going to be patient.  Make every moment, no matter what my schedule says or doesn’t say, meaningful and enjoyable.  I am going to allow myself the freedom to breathe and not need for a thing.  I am going to give myself permission to rest if I need it and most importantly I will allow myself to know I am not defined by how I spend my minutes, my achievements or my bank balance, but how open I am to just being.  Being me.  Being happy, healthy and grateful.

I am really finding I can no longer distract myself from me in my busyness.  I am finding out now that I am a truly complex person, with many stories to tell, and have discovered some really likable things.  I have found a strength in me that is not just from having to survive, it is from loving to thrive.  And the journey goes on….

So if you are stuck, feeling impatient, worried, concerned, at a loss, don’t know what to do next; start a conversation with yourself about you, about who you are, how to spend your moments, what do you really want.  Are you prepared to surrender it all and trust the process that knows exactly what you need and when.  Are you prepared to do all those things you have been meaning to, including resting and looking after you. Are you ready to look within more, instead of without? Did you know that if you change just a couple of habits a day, like the time you wake up, the time you eat, the things you read, the morning or night routine, the way you think; you will create a space that will heighten your awareness to more opportunities and peace than you could possibly imagine.  If you are feeling impatient, maybe this is the perfect time to create spaciousness so you can finally expand your experience?

Some tips for when you feel impatient:-

  • Take deep, slow breaths, and count to 10. Doing this helps slow your heart rate, relaxes your body, and distances you emotionally from the situation.
  • Impatience can cause you to tense your muscles involuntarily. So, consciously focus on relaxing your body. Again, take slow, deep breaths. Relax your muscles, from your toes up to the top of your head.
  • Use the ‘pause’ method.  You have stimulus (the situation or trigger of your impatience), then you find freedom and choice in the PAUSE, then comes the response.  I find this hugely effective.
  • Force yourself to slow down. Make yourself speak and move more slowly. It will appear to others as if you’re calm – and, by “acting” patient, you can often “feel” more patient.
  • Practice active listening   and empathic listening. Make sure you give other people your full attention, and patiently plan your response to what they say.
  • Remind yourself that your impatience rarely gets others or things to move faster. All you’re doing is creating more stress, which is completely unproductive.
  • If your impatience causes you to react in anger toward others, first ask yourself what am I so afraid of (your answer to this will be quite insightful) and then use anger management techniques to calm down.

Remember patience is a skill.  Practice, question, improve, practice, question, improve… for it to become a habit. Becoming more patient won’t happen overnight, but it will happen, and you will find your world a much better place when it does. Kirsty 🙂


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If you’ve found yourself putting off important tasks over and over again, you’re not alone. Most people procrastinate to some degree.  Is procrastination stopping you fulfilling your potential and unsettling your life?

You procrastinate when you put off things that you could be, or know you should be, focusing on right now, usually in favour of doing something that is more enjoyable or that you’re more comfortable doing.

Putting off an unimportant task isn’t necessarily procrastination; it may just be good prioritization! If you have a good reason for rescheduling something important, then you’re not necessarily procrastinating. However, if you’re just “making an excuse” because you really just don’t want to do it, then you are.

The key to taking back control is to recognize when you start procrastinating, understand why it happens and take active steps to manage your time and outcomes better. To have a good chance of conquering procrastination, you need to be aware straight away that you’re doing it. Then you can identify why you’re procrastinating and take appropriate steps to overcome the block.

Here are my 6 P’s for creating a new habit of action rather than non-action or avoidance:-

  1. PAY OFF – Establish and brainstorm what are the great things      that you will get once this is done.       WHY is it important to you?
  2. PEOPLE TO TELL AND PROMISE – Name your task and put a deadline      on it, then tell someone or a group of people and promise to have it      finished and ask for their support.       This creates an atmosphere of accountability and is a psychological      incentive for you to complete what you have been putting off.
  3. PREPARE AND HAVE A PROCESS – Prepare all that you need to get      this task done and have a list, diary and a process.  Are you going to do it all, in what      order, or are you going to break it down into smaller tasks?
  4. PAY ATTENTION – Be completely present with this task, no      breaks, no interruptions, and no distractions.
  5. PRACTISE – just keep following this guide on all tasks you      feel overwhelmed by or struggle to complete.  You don’t have to get it perfect,      practise will allow you to just do it and create a new habit of work/task      completion.
  6. PRAISE & CELEBRATE – Give yourself a big pat on the back      and reward each time you achieve your goal.  This will encourage you to keep going      forward.

One of my most favourite action steps is to aim to “eat an elephant beetle” first thing, every day; which means conquering your hardest, least desirable task first thing in the morning so you don’t have to carry the load in your mind around with you all day.

Get started today and kick procrastination to the kerb! Kirsty 🙂

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In the Pursuit of Happiness & Health have we forgotten the most important Relationship?

Emerging research suggests a strong peer network in the workplace and having close and supportive relationships personally and intimately helps individuals live longer and can increase happiness and health by 80%.

Researchers from Flinders University, found that people with the highest number of close friends outlived those with the least friends by 22 % – on average, living to the age of 79, compared to 65.

Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS) data on death rates shows people living in intimate relationships (including those in married and de facto relationships); – both men and women – have lower death rates than single people in almost all age groups. A 2009 study from Harvard Medical School found that the more friends’ women had, the less likely they were to develop physical impairments as they aged, and the more likely they were to lead joyful lives.

I am seeing more and more clients suffering from stress, emotional issues, and physical illness and overwhelm than ever before.  The surprising link I am finding is the increase in the breakdown in having close and trusted relationships in our society today from home to workplace is a huge contributing factor. Most people who are finding difficulty creating healthy relationships with others admit to not knowing or even liking themselves and continuously put themselves in a position of being put down and criticized, which is having a dramatic impact on their health, happiness and success.

Having a hand to hold as you go through life makes the difficulties we all experience easier to deal with. When things go awry, knowing that your friends, partners, family members and co-workers have your back allows you to go through whatever you have to and come out the other side a more positive person.

Recent studies are showing that there is a link between the increase in depression, social isolation, stress and hostility in our society and the breakdown of supportive relationships.

The road has been bumpy and long to get to the point of this social and relationship crisis, and with more people reaching out and searching for answers I have been driven for over a decade to create awareness and educate people to be able to create excellent relationships that support them to excel personally and professionally.

The system and process I have created and teach to others incorporates wisdom from my own experiences and the Blue Zones by writer and explorer Dan Buettner, who has spent his life traveling the world in search of answers. Buettner argues that relationships are really the key to lifelong happiness, noting that “the happiest people socialize about seven hours a day,” and that “you’re three times more likely to be happy if you are married … and each new friend will boost your happiness about 10 percent.” He also states how important good relationships can be in the workplace, adding that “the biggest determinant of whether or not you’ll like your job is if you have a best friend there, more so than how much you’re paid.”

It has been said that you are the average of the 5 people you are around the most.  Your results will reflect this average from career, lifestyle, health, happiness, home, beliefs and even holidays.  I have seen people achieve the most extraordinary results in all these areas from becoming aware of this, making changes and consciously creating and embracing more meaningful and supportive relationships personally and professionally.

Surround yourself in people who uplift you and inspire you, search for those people, be your own best friend and be open to being loved and showing how much you care for others.  Your health and happiness is determined by these connections, so make it a priority for you today.

Kirsty 🙂

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Are you Mindful to practise Mindfulness?


Mindfulness is a form of self-awareness that focuses our attention on the task at hand. – A moment by moment awareness. When we are mindful, our attention is not caught up in the past or future, and we are not judging or rejecting what is occurring at the moment. –  We are present.

This kind of attention creates acceptance, energy, clear-headedness and a feeling of joy.  I have found it is a skill that can be learned and cultivated by anyone.

When you have a mindfulness practise in place some examples of what you will experience are:

  • Having a better relationship with stuff that is happening
  • Being aware
  • Being more flexible
  • Experience a Relaxed state more
  • Not being stuck in the past, fear or worries
  • A Stronger immune system
  • More energy
  • More happiness
  • Management of anxiety and depression
  • Have the skills to overcome overwhelm
  • Creating a positive and calm experience of daily life
  • Paying close attention, on purpose, right now, without judgement in your life.
  • Being in the moment for what it is, not a reaction or prediction.
  • Body Regulation & Better Health
  • Better Communication
  • Emotional Balance
  • Insight
  • Empathy
  • Creativity & Intuition enhanced
  • Resilience
  • Feelings of Stability
  • Kindness & Compassion
  • Non-Reactivity or you Act and not React

Mindfulness has been adapted for use in treatment of depression, especially preventing relapse, anxiety disorders, stress, behaviour problems, interpersonal conflict, confusion, despair and for assisting with mood regulation.

The potential of these mindfulness and acceptance based approaches have bought in a new wave of cognitive behavioural treatments for familiar problems.

Everyday do a mindful ‘self-check’. You only have right now. Use it to its best advantage. Mindfulness trains you to become aware of what is going on inside you and how your inner world of thoughts and feelings are reacting to the events that are taking place in the world around you.

When you develop this kind of awareness, you will be more aware of inner disturbances if they arise, and therefore more able to take steps to maintain a positive outlook if they do.

Often, stress and anxiety build up over a period of time because we are not paying attention to what is going on inside us.

How do your thoughts and words impact how you feel?

How do your emotions unconsciously drive your behaviours?

Without conscious awareness of these subtleties we have very little chance of changing them. With awareness and mindfulness we have the opportunity to determine the amount of happiness and joy in our life. As we become self-aware we have the opportunity to make choices instead of just react from habit or negative emotions.

A quick mindfulness exercise is S.T.O.P.

  • Stop,
  • Take a Breath,
  • Observe what you are feeling and thinking,
  • Proceed and Participate in what is most important.

Be mindful and watch your life expand to become extraordinary.  Kirsty

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