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Kirsty writes regularly here

Posts Tagged life coaching

A Year of Possibilities

Happy New Year!

Preparing for a new year can often feel daunting, and will be overlooked by many if it seems to hard, only to find regret around Easter that this time wasn’t taken.

So, to help you prepare, I have put together a list of ten points to consider when entering into anything new, especially a new year of possibilities, to support you getting the most out of this year.

The following list will give you the beginnings of creating a strong foundation to leap off. This reminds me of one of my favourite sayings, “prior preparation prevents piss poor performance!” Take time to mull over each one.

  1. What is your carrot? What is the thing, your why, that will keep you moving forward and keep your focus?
  2. Get real about the pitfalls, and the worst-case scenario that can occur. It is likely you will be struggle free this year, yet there is also a chance that stuff will happen, you will be blindsided, and bowled over. When stuff happens, what is the plan? What is the best way to address it? What is going to work to keep everyone on the same team, solution and goal focused?
  3. Create a dialogue around what you say to other friends, family members, your children, and those you talk to about your goals, career and lifestyle. Be supportive and positive in your language and prepare the standard responses. This will help when people begin to share their well–intended, yet negative opinion of your choices.
  4. How are you going to manage your finances this year? Create a realistic and flexible budget, then stick to it.
  5. Identify the possible stressors within your family, the routines that are required, also how the responsibilities will be shared to meet the demands of how you would like this year to look.
  6. Listen to how the other people in your circle of influence are feeling, the hopes, positive feelings, concerns, worries, and motivations. Open the conversation to what ifs, those things that may never happen—what if someone becomes ill, what if you are losing sight of the carrot, what if stress gets the better of you, what if one of you is just over it? There are lots of what ifs, discussing them lightly with no expectation of them ever happening, is a good thing because this can alert you to possible stress triggers later on and you will be more open and prepared to deal with the issues together.
  7. Start now to find all the resources you can that have information on what you would like to achieve. Start by Googling, and the more you read, learn, feel supported, and develop an understanding of the jargon, the easier you will find it is to keep on track.
  8. Set up a plan of communication and connection to others. What will work for you, your friends and your family? It doesn’t have to be every day, but by having a sense of belonging and a supportive network around you will triple your chances of success. Don’t get too busy to check in with your mates and family.
  9. What is going to be your time management system, or flexible plan, or list process that keeps you on track with all you want to do, need to do, and includes rest and relaxation?  Have a rough idea prepared so you will enjoy more fun and relaxation, keep working towards your ‘why’, and reduce overwhelm and stress.
  10. How will you improve, grow and develop this year? Just working and watching TV isn’t going to hit the right note. Could you be studying, reading, personally or professionally developing, starting a side home business, learning a new type of dance, getting fit, getting involved in a sport or volunteer position, or making new friends? You may be limited by hours in the day or home responsibilities, however embarking on something new that fits in with your life will energise you and support new possibilities.

I hope these tips spark a brighter vision for you this year. I wish you a wonderful 2018, and if you would like any support – either questions, or would like a quick phone chat please email me.
Kirsty 🙂

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Beyond the Paper, Pen, and Envelope — Being Mindful Online

being-mindful-online

I think I might get T-Shirts made with the slogan—“Even though we’re miles apart, a computer screen connects our hearts.” It sums up my families reliance on technology to feel close and communicate when we are separated by work.

Our FIFO (fly in fly out) lifestyle demands we use phones, mobile devices, and computers more than we would if we were seeing each other every day. We all have instantaneous methods at our fingertips to communicate. This is a wonderful thing, and I personally am very grateful for it, yet there is more to consider when navigating online communication and social media—the to do, what to be aware of, and what to avoid.

Technology itself is not a bad thing—it is how it is used that can be a cause for concern. We need to be aware that technology can completely rewrite our brain pathways. For people who spend too much time interacting through a screen, the neural pathways change and different ones are created.

A study by UCLA professor Dr Gary Small in 2007 asked three regular internet users and three neophytes to browse websites, in an attempt to point out the cognitive differences between heavy and light multi-taskers. Dr Small discovered differences in the neural activity between both parties when tasked to Google pre-assigned topics. The part of the experienced Internet users’ brains involved in decision-making and problem- solving lit up like fireworks, but the same couldn’t be said for the other half of the group.

After further testing under this study, test participants were asked to browse the web for one hour a day. Dr Gary Small discovered that the inexperienced Internet users’ brains lit up like their experienced counterparts six days later. This showed that people’s web surfing habits change their neural pathways. Online activity affects concentration, self-esteem, and people can lose empathy.

Communicating via a screen can increase a lack of empathy. This leads to people saying things electronically they’d never say directly to someone—because the person to who they are talking to isn’t physically present to display their emotional reaction. Dr Gary Small said in 2011, “I think all this online time is weakening our face-to-face human contact skills. Many people, particularly young digital natives, gain social support through their hours of texting and social networking, but does that person who averages more than 11 hours each day using technology look you in the eye when you have a conversation? I know when someone maintains eye contact, I have a greater sense that he or she is listening and interested in what I have to say. I feel a greater empathic contact.”

I think it is as if the part of our nervous system that registers the feelings of others has been paralysed or removed when we are communicating electronically. I have had times where I was talking to others electronically and they respond in a way that shows the message wasn’t received as I intended. When we discuss further they are quick to realise that they had misread what I was saying due to us not being face to face.

Five tips to use phones and computers effectively –

  1. Don’t say anything electronically that you wouldn’t say in person.
  2. Use your words well, whether you are speaking, texting, or typing. Re-read it and attempt to avoid any misinterpretation before sending.
  3. Don’t delay responding to messages you would rather avoid. If you feel you don’t completely understand, ask for more information rather than disregard, or ignore it.
  4. Listen for tone of voice cues as to how the person is feeling or hearing what you are saying, and always check for understanding.
  5. Remember emojis are not a true expression of feelings— nothing is better than hearing a laugh and seeing a smile on someone’s face.

Mobile devices and computers are not just connecting tools for family and friends. The screen world expands to include a global network of people who have access to each letter you type and the technological footprint you are creating.

I enjoy the benefit of instantly sharing photos, quotes, memories, and activities on social media with my friends and family. I like that I can support others if they are struggling and post about it in an online group I am in. Just remember though that in these online groups some people use a screen and keyboard to confront others, and some share difficult emotions that they would not do face-to-face.

Use online communication and social media properly and mindfully. The Internet is an amazing tool and it is here to stay. To make technology serve you well requires good judgment. Aim for a balance of online and in-person connecting and really think about what you are posting and how that affects others. Think about how it represents you and your family and keep at top of mind that a gentle smile or a heartfelt hug has far more power than the cleverest emoticon. Please be aware of the other person’s situation or needs if you are tagging or mentioning someone, or a company, or a site on social media groups. If in doubt, get their permission first, or wait 24 hours and see if you still want to type and send that message.

Kirsty 🙂

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Life can be hard sometimes…

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Life can be so hard sometimes, can’t it? The day in day out ‘stuff’, like –

  • Meeting all the expectations and demands of others.
  • Trying to look like you are successfully juggling it all.
  • Putting on a happy face when you really just want to say, “no, I’m not okay!”
  • Friends and family letting you down – yet you can’t mention it in case you look insensitive.
  • Pretending your whole family is so happy – like the Brady Bunch.
  • Moments when you think that you need some new goals because life isn’t exciting or purposeful anymore.
  • Life is dishing you up lemons instead of Lamborghini’s.
  • Then to top it all off – you are getting closer to 50 and there are bits that just aren’t doing what they are supposed to!

I am certain this is just not me, actually I know this isn’t just me as most of my friends and clients, at some point, go through all this too.

Is there a special trick to overcoming these moments? Is there a quick fix that works for everyone else? Some would like you to think so, but…

I don’t know about any tricks or quick fixes that actually have a substantial long-term impact – yet I do know that not giving up and being open to other possibilities is a start.

We are now in spring in Australia. It is a time of warming up and getting outside more to enjoy the sunshine, and a time of growth for plants (and people too).

It is the best time to think about and begin to plan new possibilities and watch them grow. It is a time to reflect and put to rest what isn’t working and the things you no longer want to move forward with. It is a time, which I use, to welcome in the energy of nurturing newly planted ideas and doing what it takes for them to grow strong and balanced.

My big announcement this month, after a couple of months of feeling like I had no clear direction, I decided to hit the books again and am going to University – beginning 1st semester next year. I have been offered a place in Bach of Communication. I fell in love with writing last year whilst writing my first book, and I want to get even better at this art. I will be doing this part time so I can work around my business and my family. I am so excited, and feel that inner drive deep in my belly again. I know this is the right thing for me to be doing right now – as yet though I have no idea how I will pull it all off! My nervousness was overcome when my offer came through on the 1st September – 1st day of spring – can’t get a better ‘sign’ than that of being on the right path!

When life is being hard and heavy, I acknowledge it, then get out a piece of paper and begin to write what it is, what I want to be different and what I can do now – even the smallest thing – to begin change. It is amazing what gets written on that paper, just like my decision to study again.

Enjoy the energy and possibilities that spring can bring for you – allow spring to soften the tough bits so that new things can grow.

Kirsty 🙂

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S.T.O.P – Begin to disentangle yourself from negative thoughts, reactions and judgments.

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On of my favourite mindful practices is S.T.O.P.  It is easy, quick and effective. I have shown many of my clients and students this skill over the years and it is an essential to keep your calm – or return to your calm space – when moments of overwhelm, frustration, chaos, madness and confusion take over.

S.T.O.P stands for –

S = Stop right now

T = Take a breath

O = Observe

P = Proceed

To be able to consciously pause and stop is a very powerful state. When you pause you give yourself permission to not have to be anything or do anything in that moment – you give yourself a mini break to reflect and become aware of the present where there are only choices.

Following this with a couple of deep breathes in and out to release tension will clear uneasy feelings in your body and reduce anxiety levels. You may then begin to notice that you have more clarity and insight into the situation that got you so wound up.

From this vantage point of calm and possible clarity you can just observe what is actually going on around you and within you, and a new awareness will be gained. You can begin to ask questions at this time. What is this really about? What would be a way to deal with this that would be okay to all involved? Do I need more information? What could I be doing differently? How do I really want to handle this?

Then you are much better able to proceed with your next action or non-action – whatever you feel most appropriate, beneficial, and right for you. You will be more in control and accepting, and better equipped to deal with the situation in a way you feel comfortable with and that will get better results for all involved.

Today take time to S.T.O.P and then move forward more confidently, clearly and calmly.

Kirsty 🙂

 

 

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What is it you decide to create?

IMG_0111A verse by Kirsty to inspire you to overcome setbacks, leap over overwhelm and feel encouraged to turn the unfortunate situations into fortunes.

Resilience, to some, what a big, big word,
Some even shiver each time it is heard.
It may remind them of those who win,
And how they don’t have what it takes and are failing.

They say, “those people are just luckier than me,”
Or, “they have no idea what hardship I endure and see.”
Their motto is “I can’t do that” or “that is impossible”
Or “you just don’t understand, I’m not like you – unstoppable.”

Well let me tell you right here and right now,
Resilient people don’t run with the crowd.
They don’t buy into what is possible and not,
They don’t even accept that this is their lot.

Resilient people endure failure, setbacks and traumatic events,
Then they get up and just take the next steps.
They hurt just like you, and even have thoughts of unfairness,
They just don’t let it stop them; they lift their pain tolerance.

Resilient people don’t say “this is because of you,”
They say instead, “it is up to me to see this through.”
They keep a smile on their face,
Even though, to others, it may seem out of place.

Resilience is to be well, to be happy, and to be better,
So how can this happen without a bit of pressure?
So next time you think you can’t or you won’t,
How about deciding that you can definitely cope.

Maybe, just maybe, this terrible thing is teaching you,
How amazing and capable you are too.
That if you could, for a moment, be positive and regulate that emotion,
You will find a way to grow, learn, create change and forward motion.

So now it is up to you,
You can stand on the sidelines, or you can participate too.
You can play the game, the game that is life,
Love it or hate, it is the only choice that causes winning or strife.

Give yourself meaning, purpose and permission,
That never again will you live in submission.
You will never give up, be resigned to a fate,
It is all up to you, what is it you decide to create?

– by Kirsty O’Callaghan

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Parenting – A team effort

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I am an advocate for building helping teams, villages around people, especially children. The traditional African proverb ‘It takes a village to raise a child’ has been widely quoted when examining the support needed for our children as they grow.
Parenting requires we create that village for our children and ourselves — a supportive network of people who are committed to fostering the children’s happiness and growth. Navigating the challenges and opportunities of parenting can be daunting — a team effort is necessary to ensure the children, and the parents, have feelings of worth, connection, and safety.

The street I live in is great. Generally there are children out playing most afternoons and weekends. On this street, you know that someone is keeping an eye out when the children are playing outside. I have built friendships and relationships with my neighbours, even if it is just a wave from the front yard friendship. I want to teach my children that neighbours, overall, are there to help. I also encourage my children to be aware and compassionate to the needs of those that live around us. At Christmas time I give small presents to neighbours I see regularly, like a Lions Club Christmas Cake, as I am part of the local Lions Club. This serves my club, my community, as well as my neighbourhood. If you don’t know anyone in your street or apartment building, take the initiative. Bake a cake, take it to your neighbours, and introduce yourself. Invite them over for a cuppa or just have a chat in the front yard.

To raise a child and weather the storms of life, parents must embrace supportive alliances. A supportive team for a child can include:

Neighbours
Parent groups
Volunteer groups
Sporting clubs
Friends and family
Health care professionals
Teachers
Day care workers
Church groups
Local social groups — like walking, exercising, bird watching
School parent groups
Special interest groups
Local council and library events

What has been my saving grace many times is the collaborative relationship I have with my children’s school or day care centre — namely their teachers and carers. For over 15 years, I have seen the benefit of fostering and nurturing relationships with teachers and schooling professionals. I legally hand over the care of my children and the responsibilities of social and academic development to these very special individuals for approximately 1,500 hours per year. I believe that my participation and support is vital.

The top 11 benefits I have found by getting to know, support and be in regular contact with teachers are:

  1. The teachers/carers have more understanding of my child, as they know what is going on in their whole life.
  2. I don’t jump to any conclusions based on my child’s opinion of the teacher as I have gotten to know them and their style of teaching.
  3. I have a greater understanding and empathy, individually and as an industry, of teachers and the massive job they do.
  4. I can follow through with routines and consequences at home that are working at school, which creates more consistency for my child and less stress for me.
  5. My children are able to own their positive and undesirable behaviour and there is follow up at both ends.
  6. The teachers and I support each other in a common cause—the best outcomes for my children.
  7. I can easily ask for help and understanding when parenting overwhelm hits.
  8. I know when my child is struggling in time to redirect, before it is too late or habitual.
  9. I get to meet and know some amazing people whose passion is to see my child succeed.
  10. My children see that I am proactive in their lives and when I need to, I will rally their team together to overcome perceived obstacles.
  11. I always find out what is going on and can share all this with my husband, who works away, so he feels connected too.

Whether you work, or are a stay at home parent, you can build your child’s team. Creating these relationships and building rapport with others comes in many forms — phone, email, and in person. In my most trying times, I have found the support of most teachers a blessing and having a supportive team around me lifts me up when I would rather run away and hide.

Here is an activity for you: ?Take a moment to consider who you could enlist to help you and be on your child’s team? How could you create a network of supportive people in your families life?

Kirsty 🙂

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Fathers Day when you are Separated By Work

Fathers Day

All families that are separated by work have to be organised and prepare for special occasions in advance. Fathers Day 2016, in Australia, is Sunday 4th of September. It can be a minefield of loneliness, isolation and frustration – a time when the distance from family feels massive for those dads who are separated by work on the day that is chosen to recognise Dads.

We are a FIFO family and this year my husband will be home for Fathers Day – the first time in five years. We will treasure this time together, especially as he has missed all family birthdays this year and flew out at 6am on Easter morning.

Our family, I am proud to say, is mostly happy, functional and very connected. We are well practiced in being able to make events special, even when one of us is not be physically present. Here are our top five tips for Fathers Day when you are apart.

  1. Eliminate the pressure – there is no perfect way to celebrate Fathers Day. Did you know it isn’t even the same day around the world? So, instead of feeling down and miserable all day why not make the most of it in other ways. If a family member is feeling the pressure, listen to their concerns and help them see it in another way.
  2. Make a time to connect in ways you can – phone, Skype, text, send a video and send pictures. Be funny, be serious, and be thoughtful.
  3. Loud and Proud Gratitude – Whether you are the kids, dads or mums, each of you can take turns to share what you are grateful for. What makes Dad special, what makes your kids special to you, what is it that Mum does that makes Dad’s life easier?
  4. Praise and presents – Plan ahead and have notes hidden in luggage and around the house. Have packages of special things ready to be posted so they arrive for the day. Get everyone involved.
  5. Move Father’s Day – Which is the Sunday closest that you are all together? Why not make that a day filled with celebrating Dad?

Most parents I speak to aren’t so much affected by how they feel missing out on special occasions or days – they are more concerned, and plagued with elements of guilt, as they worry about how their children may feel. The school had a fathers day stall, other parents are planning a big day out and the media hype around Fathers Day is relentless. Here is a secret many parents eventually discover – kids can survive anything, and heal, if they have parents who listen and support them processing their emotions.

Children look to their parents to understand the world around them. Instead of making the separation on a specific date a negative one, make it mean something different – the surprise package preparation, making funny videos, planning your own personal Fathers Day when you are all together again. You will be teaching your child how to be resourceful in their thinking and actions when there are life obstacles in the way.

How can your family be different and create special celebrations and moments this year for your Fathers Day – or could it be Fathers Month?

Keep smiling and thriving, Kirsty 🙂

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Looking after yourself – Guilt free!

Looking after yourself

“I don’t have enough time to look after myself, and anyway, it is selfish to take time out for me when I have a family to look after – isn’t it?” A statement I hear often from many of my clients and friends. There was a time I even said this.

I realised a long time ago through my own parenting experience, my business and the many parents I come across, there is one major factor that gets overlooked – if you are not okay, how can anything else be okay. If you are feeling run down, overwhelmed or undervalued why not try something new? I am going to share with you how you can get out of the old belief systems of selflessness and move into looking after self – being self -full.

What does self-full mean? A few years ago I watched a You Tube video that featured Iyanla Vanzant, who is a best-selling author. The question was asked, “Is your cup full?” She spoke about putting yourself first and being strong in life. She said that doing this is not selfish it is self-full. Iyanla said, “It’s self- full to be first, to be as good as possible to you. To take care of you, keep you whole and healthy. That doesn’t mean you disregard everything and everyone. But you want to come with your cup full. You know: My cup runneth over. What comes out of the cup is for y’all. What’s in the cup is mine. But I’ve got to keep my cup full.” Hearing this was a light bulb moment for me – it changed the way I parented, gave to others, and especially how I looked after me.

From my years of experience personally and professionally, I have found that if you are not okay, nothing else will be, no matter what skill you adopt or distraction you create. The relationship you have with yourself will determine how you think and feel, how you deal with challenges, as well as the relationship you have with everyone else in your life. Your level of self-esteem and the value you put on yourself will determine your performance and productivity. This is the first area to renew and polish up to fill your cup.

I like to use the metaphor of vehicles, as I believe life is a journey and people generally feel the silent and invisible push to move forward in their lives. Let’s look at the family car. Most people feel a responsibility to keep their car in good condition, up to a safe standard, using the right fuel and properly serviced so that they, and their family, can get from A – B in comfort and safety. The car expenses and upkeep are put in the budget and scheduled, because this is important to have this asset in top condition.

You can view yourself as important as your mode of transport. You are in charge of getting you and your family safely from A – B (mentally, emotionally and physically). To do this you need to be in good condition, getting the right fuel and services. You need to view yourself as an asset to the family unit and most importantly have resources of time and energy to move yourself and family forward.

I will share with you my top nine ways I keep in top condition, and enjoy the ride.

  1. Every morning before I get out of bed, I affirm myself and my family, I see my daily plan play out in my mind the way I would like it to go, make any adjustments, take a deep breath and get out of bed to start my day.
  2. I communicate regularly with my family and friends on what is going on for me, and ask for support when I need it.
  3. I make sure I am properly fuelled! I drink enough water, I eat healthy food and I exercise in a way that is right for me. I find yoga and meditation keeps me mentally, emotionally and physically strong.
  4. I have regular activities and interests that are just for me. I pamper myself quarterly. I benefit so much from acupuncture and massage treatments that help with tension build up and tightness.
  5. I catch up with friends regularly who inspire me, make me laugh, support me and align with my life values.
  6. I make learning a priority. I find keeping my mind active and expanding, either through formal or informal education, keeps me happier, healthier and feeling more resourceful when challenges show up. I love the saying by Charlie Tremendous Jones – “You will be the same person in five years time that you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read.”
  7. I have learnt I don’t have to be Super Mum – I instead get Super Support! Whether it is paid help, help from friends or within the community – I think about the best thing I can do to leverage my time or support myself and my children through certain issues, and then I ask.
  8. I am constantly checking in with myself, and asking, “what is the best use of my time right now.”
  9. I take time each week to celebrate my achievements, discoveries, my trials and my ability to overcome them. I acknowledge that through my mistakes I get closer to getting it right. I appreciate the lessons from life and my family. By doing this I can readjust and move forward easier.

Many years ago, while I was watching TV feeding one of my babies, I heard a celebrity who was being interviewed say that what he remembered and treasured most about his mother, and what he believed contributed to his massive success, wasn’t how much she loved him; it was how much she loved life. This simple statement struck a cord in me at the time. So much so, that since then I have strived to live my life in a way that shows abundance, resourcefulness and moments filled with joy and laughter – and that I am here to get the most out of each and every moment. In doing this, I have seen that it has passed on certain attitudes and beliefs to my children, family and friends.

My sincere wish is that your cup is always full, you can love life, and you can make looking after you a guilt free priority.

Kirsty 🙂

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Is 2015 Your Year?

Is this a year that you are going to be Bigger, Better, Stronger, Happier and have the Best Results?

Almost everyone I have spoken to in the last couple of months has said, “this is my year I can feel it”. Do you feel it? Are you inspired and motivated? Do you have a wonderful idea that you are going to create or improve your life with? Is everything going to go better than ever before for you this year?

I must admit, I was one of those people, and still am. However, you know when you think you have it all squared away, you have ticked all the boxes, you even know in a deep place within you that the truth is that this is your year; then BAM, you are hit with hurdles, distractions, holdups and unexpected situations? Well that has been me, and going on my increased client load, quite a few other people as well. So what to do? Give up? Change? Stay the same? Blame something or someone? Feel defeated? I would like to share with you my top tips to stay on track and achieve your best results this year.

  • Have a clear, detailed and specific vision and statement of what Bigger, Better, Stronger, Happier and having the Best Results is for you.
  • Have a flexible plan, steps and strategies to achieve this.
  • Have a list of what you need to stop, change, minimize, do more of and start to achieve.
  • Stretch yourself to do new things, remembering not to overextend.
  • Be organised in a way that works for you.
  • Be accountable, engage someone you trust to support you and encourage you.
  • When the going gets tough, keep going.
  • Keep in mind anything you emotionalise you cannot manage.
  • Make your improvement, physically, mentally and emotionally, a priority.
  • Keep a balance personally and professionally.
  • Realise that challenges are there to strengthen you, not beat you.
  • Show up in your life every day with the intention to be the best version of yourself.
  • Never blame, complain or critisice. It is a waste of valuable energy. Become honest with your feelings, honour them, and then become resourceful enough to find solutions that work for you.
  • Be mindful, in every moment, of what your focus and actions are aligning with. Is it on the path of your vision, or is it taking you away from that?
  • Remember, you have come this far and you are more than capable of going further. Onwards and Upwards is one of my favourite mantras!
  • Every day take time out to exercise, meditate, relax and check in with your needs. When they are met you are ready for anything.
  • Every day take time out to be grateful, recognise what didn’t work and what your priorities are for the next day.
  • Most importantly… laugh often and love a lot.

All these have worked for me, and many of my clients. I am enjoying a level of success that just keeps expanding and growing, and this year is planned to be another reinvention and bigger and better than ever. I still have struggles, setbacks, distractions and unexpected situations, that often leave me spinning or overwhelmed, however I have learnt to give it a chosen length of time (5 mins, 1 day or 1 hour depending on the situation), then I get up and remind myself of my vision and ask myself what is the best use of my time right now; and get on with it! I trust what feels right (uplifts me) and what doesn’t (what drains me) and let that guide me.

Have the most amazing 2015. May you enjoy every reward and every lesson.

Kirsty 🙂

 

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What is it with the 2nd half of January?

I just want to say after the end of year rush, preparations for holidays and celebrations and making sure all is in order and sorted for the beginning of a new year and I made sure I have had the expected time out to regroup and relax… why then does the 2nd 1/2 of January always feel so overwhelming, unfocused and just so full on?  Is that just me or do many feel this way?
I could feel the build up coming this week.  A beautiful balance of great things, new opportunities miraculously showing up for me, great bonuses and loving my exercise routine, then there was kid issues, tiredness, challenges, scattered thinking, overwhelming prospects of fitting ‘it’ all in and feeling like a whole realignment of my being was happening pulling me like taffy in a taffy machine.  Don’t get me wrong, I thrive on being stretched and problem solving; however this all just got to the point where dust on my blinds was nearly the end of me!

So what did I do…. bundled Mr 6 in the car, went and got coffee from my favourite coffee shop and got home and phoned a friend.  I rang ‘my Gail’, my closest friend.  Our friendship has no rules, no boundaries, no expectations and I knew without a doubt I could ring and feel better by the end.  I began by complaining about the mess, the kids rooms, the day in day out routines, the stuff I needed to do, the stuff I wanted to do, the way I was feeling angry for no identifiable reason….. Then I talked about what I was so very grateful for, and how these little things shouldn’t matter, but damn it they did right now!  What was with that? I then said I felt like I was being remoulded in a very uncomfortable way, like I needed to be different yet so many things still needed to be done.  As we were talking I revisited my intentions for this year and as I was reflecting I realised that just the night before I had begun focusing on decreasing unclear thinking, lack of focus and procrastination in my life… Doh… Ask and you shall receive!  To stay in line with all that I really want to achieve this year, of course old habits, things in the way and things that no longer serve me are going to come into focus.  Ever noticed that?

After an hour and a half, I felt a weight lifted, I didn’t feel alone and unsupported.  I decided that yes today I felt overwhelmed, cranky and crappy, however I get to choose if this defines me or I can just accept that for a day and let my energy change to flow where there is least resistance, in line with my intentions.  Well…. after that my husband called (isn’t funny how they just know when to ring and say hi), he had some great news and it was so good to hear his voice and by 2pm yesterday afternoon, all workshops booked in thus far for the year are on website, ticketing set up, f/book events updated.  This morning I have been for a run, weeded the gardens, laughed with Mr 6 and feel so much better, to the point I even have time to write this blog to share with you.

The moral of the story for me was acceptance, remembering what I was asking for and also be aware when life is full it is ok to just put one foot in front of the other and still feel good.  School will return, rooms will get cleaned, dinner will get cooked, I will always be 100% in my work… sometimes it just takes accepting that I don’t have to be 150% everyday.

Kirsty 🙂

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