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Posts Tagged FIFO

FIFO Families – Parenting Tips and Tricks

I recently did a short talk at a FIFO family event in Perth.  The energy in the room was high and children were very excited with all the activities that were happening.  A perfect place to share tips and tricks to support parents.

Being Separated by Work, is a minefield of stress triggers for parents and children. Approaches to keep you and your children as stress-free as possible are outlined in video and handout below.

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How heavy is this glass of water?

I have been on an upward trajectory of achievements and success in the last couple of years.  All my dreams coming true –  going back to study at University, a published book, online membership site, successful business, financial ease, awesome friends and a close family. One would imagine that with all this success all my burdens, stress and worries would get less, or even be non-existant. A huge misperception!

People even often say to me I don’t know how you do it all with Uni, business, family and a husband that works away. They say, you are so strong, and so lucky to have it all! Then they ask me to share with them my secret, or want to know how can I do it all and find peace with some of the horrible things that have happened in my past. They want the magic solution that will change their life in an instant.  I can tell you, that there isn’t a magic solution; unless you call hard work, determination and never giving up in the face of numerous challenges a magic solution.

I usually explain by first assuring them I am neither lucky or completely calm all the time.  I let them know that it is a constant conscious choice to get up, step up, choose the emotional state I want to be in and smile.  And I then share with them one of my favourite parables to illustrate how to honour, recognise, acknowledge, let go of the ‘stuff’ and keep achieving; even in the face of adversity.

Imagine I am holding a glass of water and I ask you – “How heavy is this glass of water I’m holding?”

From my perspective, the absolute weight of this glass doesn’t matter.  It all depends on how long I hold it.  If I hold it for a minute or two, it’s fairly light.  If I hold it for an hour straight, its weight might make my arm ache a little.  If I hold it for a day straight, my arm will likely cramp up and feel completely numb and paralyzed, forcing me to drop the glass to the floor.  In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it feels to me.

Your stresses and worries in life are very much like this glass of water.  Think about them for a while and nothing happens.  Think about them a bit longer and you begin to ache a little.  Think about them all day long, and you will feel completely numb and paralysed – incapable of doing anything else until you drop them.

My message to you today:  It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses and worries.  No matter what happens during the day. As early in the evening as you can put all your burdens down.  Don’t carry them through the night and into the next day with you.  If you still feel the weight of yesterday’s stress, it’s a strong sign that it’s time to put the glass down.

And that is exactly the way I live my live and teach others to do the same. Work hard, be clear and focused on what you want, don’t get caught up in others dramas, don’t get caught up in your own regrets or what if’s, and always remember that the longer you hold on to the glass the heavier it gets until you are paralysed. Just for today – put it down and let it go – or ask someone to help you ease the burden.

Kirsty 🙂

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Not Home for Birthdays

We have two big birthday months in our home, June and September. My husband has been a FIFO (fly in fly out) worker for the last eight years and he is rarely home for any of the actual days. The first couple of years were the hardest for us all, but as the years went by our family became accustomed to his absence, and we developed ways that everyone’s presence is still felt, and the birthday boy or girl feels special and celebrated.

After talking to many families in similar situations, who ask me for ideas to keep connected when apart on a family member’s special day, I felt moved to share how we celebrate and create birthday memories.

My top six tips for families separated by work on birthdays are:

  1. Overthinking it is the number one enemy! I strongly advise you to not become completely immersed in the fact that you are away or your loved one isn’t there for the special day. This will fuel negative and destructive feelings of missing out, loneliness, isolation and seclusion. This type of thinking will put a dark cloud over all celebrations, which you will regret later.  Instead, attempt to keep as upbeat and prepared as possible, stay focused on a day of festivities and activities, and have a good time.
  2. Just because you are apart, no one is forgotten! Even though one family member is away from home, the day is not less important or forgotten by anyone. It certainly doesn’t even have to be downplayed.  We have instantaneous ways to communicate at our fingertips, we can pop up on screens to join in on the party and we can pre-plan activities to be involved in on the day.  At times, being separated by work on a birthday can make the day seem much more special because of the effort involved.
  3. Let your friends step up and help you celebrate! Instead of downplaying the day, hiding it, or telling people it is no big deal – let others make it a big deal. Even if you must arrange it, (I have found though that friends usually love being a part of the planning) have a group of people around you to make a fuss and celebrate the special occasion.
  4. Always celebrate when together as well! It may not be on the actual date, but pre or post parties and gatherings are always fun. In the future, no one will remember what date it was you celebrated, but everyone will remember how they felt every year being the centre of attention and spoiled for their day. So, look at the roster and plan ahead so that it doesn’t become overwhelming and too hard as the date rapidly arrives.
  5. Be a positive force of festivities for your children! Your children may feel it the most – Mum or Dad isn’t here for their birthday. This is a time when we as parents need to excel in role modelling that their day is still a super special one; that everyone is involved in some way, they may even get two celebrations out of this, and that even though this isn’t everyone’s normal it is our families normal.
  6. Pre-plan, prepare and pre-book! As mentioned above, planning is key whether it is your child’s birthday or yours. Sitting down together and planning the surprises and activities for the day keeps everyone involved and excited. Planting hidden presents and notes around the house or in luggage to be found on the day certainly warms the soul for the receiver, and booking venues and events in advance avoids disappointment.

To finish off, I would like to leave you with some of my favourite activities for celebrating and to inspire you to plan yours and your family’s special moments, whether you are together or apart:

  • Finding hidden notes and presents/scavenger hunt.
  • Spending time with friends.
  • Eating out.
  • Going to the movies.
  • Having a picnic at the beach.
  • Ordering pizza and having movie night at home.
  • Cooking (and cleaning up afterwards) done for me.
  • Treat myself pamper day.
  • Doing something I love doing.
  • Checking something off my ‘bucket’ list.
  • Getting flowers and eating cake.
  • Having lots of good food, laughter and fun.
  • Outdoor activities and hiking.
  • Going to a concert.
  • A weekend getaway.
  • Taking a cooking class.
  • Winery tour.
  • Having a tea party.
  • Painting party.
  • Themed party or get together.
  • Feeling loved, spoilt and special!

I would love to hear your ideas on how you do birthdays when separated by work or when you are apart from your family – and what are your favourite ways to celebrate?

Kirsty 🙂

 

 

 

 

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Book Review – One Minute Closer

book-review

I am continually blown away by the support my book – Separated by Work – receives from FIFO families, workers and the professional community.  I was left speechless though when this review came through from Regan.  Regan is an excellent blogger and heads up One Minute Closer, an App that allows families to stay connected and share rosters.

He writes –

“Anyone who has worked away, or had loved ones work away for extended periods, knows that it comes with both a magnification of any existing issues and a set of different challenges from “normal” employment.

Folks have countless coping strategies; some excellent and some not so much…some intentional and some on pure subconscious reaction. I’m in no position to say which are best but what I do know is you can never have too many options.

So couple of months ago I was message tic-tac’ing with the lovely Kirsty O’Callaghan about a few things FIFO well-being. In this chat she asked if I would be interested in reading and reviewing her book – Separated by Work.

Now as well as being an author, Kirsty is an accomplished Public Speaker, Executive Consultant, Coach and FIFO Wife / Mum who has numerous awards and accolades to her name. So as you can imagine, I wasn’t sure if she was actually serious, so of course when she asked for a postal address I knew she was fair dinkum and I couldn’t wait to see what this book had in store for me.

So after a couple of cross country flights and a few late nights, here are my brief thoughts on Kirsty’s FIFO Paperback.

Long Story Short

Separated by Work is 276 pages dedicated to Kirsty’s take on all things FIFO. It is aimed at building, bolstering, or consolidating the FIFO stakeholder’s tool kit of coping / resilience strategies so we all can get the most from this chosen life style.

Kirsty covers a broad spectrum of topics and she has broken down the book into six parts. The Parts and their corresponding Chapters are titled so they are self-explanatory and a clear reference point for their contents. Each can be read as a stand-alone section/chapter to the rest of the book; so if one title draws your attention, to you can dive straight into that chapter.

Along the way there are plenty of personal anecdotes, shared stories from FIFO workers and suggestions from Kirsty’s own experience / research. During most of the chapters, you are engaged with questions and short activities with space to make notes

Subject matter experts (SMEs) in specialist fields are also utilised to succinctly provide expert opinion directed at the FIFO audience. These range from financial planning to relationships; healthy eating to raising special needs children.

What I really liked…

The Range of Topics

Kirsty covers literally the entire gamut of issues and challenges that FIFO workers and their families do or may encounter; to the point where this book would be a helpful tool for those who are just interested in tips on general life.

Separated by Work captures the usual FIFO suspects with  Chapter titles like – About the Money, Relationship Success – 50 Shades of Away and Communication – Words that can Boost, Crush or Baffle.

But, it also ventures into some lesser known struggles of the FIFO existence such as – Managing Change for High Support Needs, Life After FIFO, The Unexpected – You Cannot Prepare For It and my favourite…Not Just About a Happy Ending.

The SME input

No one is as smart as the sum of all of us, something that Kirsty really taps into. She has not engaged any old SME but ones from her own close network. For me this adds so much more authenticity to the read and you can really feel that these professionals want to make a difference for Kirsty’s audience.

There is Louise the Home Economist and Professional Organiser; Delma the Portfolio Manager; Kim the Eating Psychologist and Health Coach; and Anna the Online Communication Specialist.

Personally, the most enjoyable was Carmel Murphy whose passion and dedication to special needs kids almost jumped off the page and slapped me!! Her advice on Social Stories is excellent and is something I plan to try with my 3.

What I loved!!

The activities

At first I thought these were a bit gimmicky so skimmed over them to concentrate on the reading. It wasn’t until I got all the way to Chapter 6 that I tried one…and was hooked!!

I went back and did all the previous activities and found them interesting, enjoyable…and intrigued as to what they managed to suck out of me. Even now reviewing my notes to write this review, I am loving the reflection on these and how much self-awareness they provided.

The Structure

For me, this book is a reference tool and one that I will keep handy. The format which Kirsty has utilized is fantastic for this purpose. The titles of the parts and chapters mean there is no flicking through thinking “where did I read that again”.

The information is also segregated in such a way that limited cross referencing is needed and there is little preceding information needed to pick up and jump straight into any chapter. The parts flow well and are in a good order to keep the theme of the book rolling and consistent.

Add to this the words and line spacing are conducive to a casual read and the chapters are short enough to hold my attention…which is not that easy!!

The Openness and Frankness of the Discussion

this is the passionfruit icing between two vanilla crumbly cookies. It added that piece of bitter / sweet flavour that that makes Separated by Work the enjoyable treat that it is.

Kirsty really opened up and shared some very intimate information from her family and personal experiences. Believe me this takes courage, character and conviction but adds the perfect amount of extra credibility and integrity that just completes the work.

The Wrap

Separated by Work is not a gospel or bible for all things FIFO, nor does it pretend to be. But it is the best collation I’ve come across yet of facts, thoughts, experiences, tips and advice to cover all stakeholders in this lifestyle.

For those new to FIFO, or looking to take the plunge, this book is a fantastic tool to build some realistic expectations about what to expect and to start planning for what you are likely (and unlikely) to encounter.

For the experienced FIFO workers / families, it provides a great opportunity for personal reflection on the problems we face and possibly offer some new solutions to them. This was definitely the case for me as it bought a whole other perspective to common issues we in the FIFO thing all have faced and I’ve come away with some new angles of attack, no doubt.

One big piece of value I took from Separated by Work, and totally unexpectedly, was the tangibility and awareness of seemingly quite common challenges that many of my colleagues and team members face. Things that have not affected me and I never gave a second thought to, are covered by Kirsty and it really reminded me that “everyone has a story, especially in FIFO”.

So there you have it, my very brief and totally unqualified thoughts on Separated by Work. Of course, don’t take my word for it, go to the Unity Words website and check it out for yourself.”

Today I am so very grateful for this review, and I am proud that my ‘paper baby’ is out there in the community making a difference.

Please check out One Minute Closer website, or their Facebook page.

Kirsty 🙂

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Separated by Work – Book Reviews

Separated by Work

I am blown away by the support my book, Separated by Work, is getting and I am so delighted when I get book reviews coming through.

I recently received the following reviews from Pamela Crane from FIFO Love, and Megan Sweetlove from Sweetlove Family Law, and wanted to share with you all.

Megan said after reading the book, “As a former FIFO wife with intimate experience of how challenging the FIFO life can be – particularly for those families who are on uneven-time rosters, I understand how brutal and challenging the FIFO life can be on your personal and family relationships.

Difficulties with communicating within your relationship can be exacerbated by the geographical distance combined with the shift work rosters common to so many FIFO workers. When I read Separated by Work, I found it to be a very practical and logical reference guide for use by families who are separated by work – whether as FIFO workers or in other industries such as transport or defence force personnel.

Kirsty provides very realistic and sensible advice on improving communication and setting and achieving personal and financial goals. Her advice is broken down into easy to read chunks and she provides useful exercises to help you reflect on what you have read and apply it to your own life. I recommend this book for anyone wanting to improve communication in their relationships and help set and achieve goals!”

Then I received an email from Pamela, “I first picked up my copy of Separated By Work at Kirsty’s book launch in March of this year (2016). As a long time FIFO partner and FIFO coach I enjoyed listening to Kirsty speak about her experience as a FIFO wife. She shared her relationship and family struggles and the mistakes she made in the beginning and she really hit home.

I connected absolutely with what she was talking about and I knew that I had to grab a copy of her book.

Kirsty’s book Separated By Work is a great exploration of many of the problems we experience in a FIFO lifestyle. Topics she covers include money and goals, parenting challenges, life after FIFO, the all important “why are we doing this” and much more. I personally connected with some of the issues she discusses and found her tips and hands-on solutions useful.

While she shares her personal journey as a FIFO wife, Kirsty has also included stories from others who have someone who works away so you get a real sense that these issues are not exclusive to just you and your family.

What I loved about Separated By Work is that it is not just a personal journey but offers real solutions on how to move through the issues a FIFO lifestyle can cause. Not only has she included her solutions, Kirsty also has had professionals offering helpful advice and includes “how to” templates to help you and your family survive and thrive through your FIFO lifestyle.

As a professional supporting FIFO couples to keep their loving connection alive in their FIFO journey I highly recommend Separated By Work to anyone who is just starting out in a FIFO lifestyle or is struggling with being separated by work. I also feel this book would be a great tool for non FIFO family members to understand the world of FIFO and how to best support their FIFO family members.

If you are looking for a workbook that is easy to read, self paced, full of practical tips, exercises and resources, then Separated By Work is definitely for you.”

I am so grateful to these ladies, and for all the reviews that are coming in.  They not only say really nice ‘stuff’ about my book – they let you know that my book is real, it is readable, and most importantly it will benefit you and your family.

If you have something to say about my book please let me know either by email or in the comments below.

Kirsty 🙂

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Fathers Day when you are Separated By Work

Fathers Day

All families that are separated by work have to be organised and prepare for special occasions in advance. Fathers Day 2016, in Australia, is Sunday 4th of September. It can be a minefield of loneliness, isolation and frustration – a time when the distance from family feels massive for those dads who are separated by work on the day that is chosen to recognise Dads.

We are a FIFO family and this year my husband will be home for Fathers Day – the first time in five years. We will treasure this time together, especially as he has missed all family birthdays this year and flew out at 6am on Easter morning.

Our family, I am proud to say, is mostly happy, functional and very connected. We are well practiced in being able to make events special, even when one of us is not be physically present. Here are our top five tips for Fathers Day when you are apart.

  1. Eliminate the pressure – there is no perfect way to celebrate Fathers Day. Did you know it isn’t even the same day around the world? So, instead of feeling down and miserable all day why not make the most of it in other ways. If a family member is feeling the pressure, listen to their concerns and help them see it in another way.
  2. Make a time to connect in ways you can – phone, Skype, text, send a video and send pictures. Be funny, be serious, and be thoughtful.
  3. Loud and Proud Gratitude – Whether you are the kids, dads or mums, each of you can take turns to share what you are grateful for. What makes Dad special, what makes your kids special to you, what is it that Mum does that makes Dad’s life easier?
  4. Praise and presents – Plan ahead and have notes hidden in luggage and around the house. Have packages of special things ready to be posted so they arrive for the day. Get everyone involved.
  5. Move Father’s Day – Which is the Sunday closest that you are all together? Why not make that a day filled with celebrating Dad?

Most parents I speak to aren’t so much affected by how they feel missing out on special occasions or days – they are more concerned, and plagued with elements of guilt, as they worry about how their children may feel. The school had a fathers day stall, other parents are planning a big day out and the media hype around Fathers Day is relentless. Here is a secret many parents eventually discover – kids can survive anything, and heal, if they have parents who listen and support them processing their emotions.

Children look to their parents to understand the world around them. Instead of making the separation on a specific date a negative one, make it mean something different – the surprise package preparation, making funny videos, planning your own personal Fathers Day when you are all together again. You will be teaching your child how to be resourceful in their thinking and actions when there are life obstacles in the way.

How can your family be different and create special celebrations and moments this year for your Fathers Day – or could it be Fathers Month?

Keep smiling and thriving, Kirsty 🙂

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Get Organised – Plans to be on Purpose

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Everyone needs times dedicated to pausing and updating their life and family plan. There is truth in the saying, “For every minute spent organising, an hour is earned.” Instead of being on fast-forward, rewind, or even continuous play—stop, plan, and get organised.

At this point, I have seen many run to the hills of disorganisation, the land of the known and familiar. Instead of planning and implementing, they procrastinate. I challenge you to eat the elephant beetle—which means conquering the hardest and least desirable task first—so you can forever overcome disharmony and overwhelm.

There are countless time management and organisational resources out there—books, blogs, experts, and online forms. Some will work and some won’t. To get you started here are some of my suggested organisation and routine activities. My biggest piece of advice though—as time never changes, yet what can change are the choices made in the time available, always practise choice management, rather than time management.

Have a weekly plan, which creates a flexible routine.

A routine provides the freedom to focus on what is being done in the moment, knowing that all the activities to be accomplished will be done efficiently and effectively—the right things, in the right order. Many stumble whilst doing the right things in the wrong order. Meaningful routines create a happier, calmer, and less stressful environment.

Without a plan or routine days turn into weeks, and the weeks turn into months it all becomes a blur – the purpose of it all can be drowned out by the constant demands. Many times, I have viewed my days as a stream of things to do and busy-ness.

Activity

Take a moment now and reflect on your past week. Each week should contain all or some of the following activities and tasks. Did yours?

  • You time—reading, relaxing, entertainment, rest, hobby, fun, gardening, meditating, journaling, and time to generate new ideas.
  • Body time—Exercise, Yoga, massage, sport.
  • Connecting with others—Family, friends, sport, volunteer or community involvement.
  • Parenting duties—School drop offs and pick-ups, sporting events, tutoring, general running around, homework, fun time together, connecting and being present with your child/ren.
  • Home duties—cleaning, maintaining, general upkeep of house, groceries, finances, ironing, cooking.
  • Study—Assignments, credentialing, recognition from a regulatory body, seminars, researching, continual learning.
  • Work—Employed position.
  • Work—Own business. Delivering the product/ service that is core to your role, admin, course/product development, finances, networking, and professional collaboration.

I would like to point out that you time is at the top of this list. You time is commonly the first thing to go or be down graded to an activity of least importance. If this is happening for you or a member of your family, take time to re-prioritise. Without looking after you first, any routine is difficult to maintain and run-down people get sick.

An example of my weekly planner (which is pictured below) is printed on a sheet of paper I have on my pin-board. I like choosing a different colour for each area, as indicated in the picture, as this has more impact visually for me. In each coloured section I also have written what particular activity it is that I plan to do in that time.

Time Choice Management Schedule

This is a valuable tool for me and has been used by many of my clients. You may like to make your own, change colours, times, or activities. What matters is that this gives you a chance to view your whole week, what you do and how you can do it better.

Have a list.

I love a good list. I have an overall to-do list, a daily to-do list, a grocery list, a work list, a home list, list for gifts, and the list goes on! From watching me make lists over the years my children now have the list-making bug. My youngest son has lists of movies he wants to see, a list for Santa (usually started in April), and a list of jobs to do. My daughter makes lists for presents (she is a gift- giver by nature), a shopping list, which she calls a budget, and a dream list.

A question that I ask myself at numerous times during the day is, “What is the best use of my time right now?” This question is an opportunity to look at my list and see what I could be doing in the time I have right now and the energy I have available to me. Without my lists, I can very easily be distracted and taken off task.

Lists and weekly planning are the most effective way to improve overall performance, both personally and professionally. Wasted time is irreplaceable.

Stick with it to create a habit.

Daily disciplines create the changes in our lives. It takes about 28 days to create new habits. At about week two resistance, distraction, and lack of focus raise their unhelpful heads. This is the testing time. This is the time to push that bit harder, knowing why it is important to be organised and on purpose. Seek and gain support and take one day at a time. You can do it!

K x

 

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Collaborating to Help Others Thrive

DSC_2218I recently had the amazing pleasure of working together with Sophee of Sophee Smiles to create a blog to support couples in any type of long distance relationship – whether married to an adventurous jet-setter like Sophee, in love with a FIFO worker like me, struggling with your partner’s deployments, living in a different city to your loved one, travelling regularly yourself or anything in between, this blog post is filled with guidance, support, tips and understanding.

I adore collaborating, and my business has grown dramatically over the years due to these partnerships.  Whether it be recommendations, working together on projects, getting help, linking people together or sourcing experts to contribute to my publications and referral lists – collaborating is an essential for all business people.  It is also a must for volunteers, friends, people who are separated by work, and within the community – how else can a joint effort and better results be realised?

Charlie ‘Tremendous’ Jones said, “You will be the same person in five years time as you are now, if not for the books you read and the people you meet.” I am certainly blessed to meet and work with many amazing people, which in turn allows me to have more, be more and do more.

So I encourage you to embrace collaborative partnerships and create new opportunities for yourself and others this week.  What have you got to loose? What could you have to gain?

Here are some tips to help keep your long-distance relationship happy and healthy, by Sophee and me.

Kirsty 🙂

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Is Your Cup Full? Boosting Mental Health for FIFO Families

www.unitywords.com.au

Excerpt from Separated by Work – Kirsty O’Callaghan – Chapter 5

…Some people still think that it’s shameful if they have a mental illness, are experiencing a loss of control emotionally or irrational and dark thinking. There are those that assume it shows personal weakness or a failing. If it’s children who have a mental illness, some conclude it reflects the failings of the parents. Stigma and discrimination are the two biggest obstacles to a productive solution-based conversation about mental health in a FIFO environment and at home.

I have had more people thank me than judge me because I have been so open about my stuff. I have had more people begin to cope again and even love life again, because I and others like me, have shared our stuff and not hidden it behind the idea of right and wrong.

Mental health and suicide are becoming more recognised and discussed within FIFO communities and on-site camps. There is still some intolerance and small mindedness, there always will be those people who cannot get out of their own way, but acceptance is growing.

One of the programs from an Australian site included as part of their orientation something called the 4C’s. The third C was Caring and the fourth C was Courageous.

  • It stated in the part for caring—“I am accountable for my actions and actively care for the safety of myself and others—Care about the welfare of my neighbours in the camp—the FIFO lifestyle comes at a cost to all of us and our families. Please keep an eye on your workmates and if someone is acting out of character, or saying things like I don’t see the point anymore, or there is no hope, please reach out to them and discreetly ask them if they’re okay, and if they’re not, help them get in contact with professional resources.”
  • Courage included the actions of—“I will speak up, provide positive feedback to my peers, and prevent incidents by utilising stop work authority and coaching. This also includes the courage to reach out to a work mate and ask them if they’re ok.”

If you find yourself in the gut wrenching or numb place of despair and your cup is empty, approach your mates, your family and even have a chat to a professional. Everyone at some time is running on empty and it takes courage to ask for help, to make the changes you need to make it to the next day. Keep your cup full and keep filling the cups of those you care about.

From my years of experience personally and professionally, I have found that if you are not okay, nothing else will be, no matter what skill you adopt or distraction you create. The relationship you have with yourself will determine how you think and feel, how you deal with challenges, as well as the relationship you have with everyone else in your life. Your level of self-esteem and the value you put on yourself will determine your performance and productivity. This is the first area to renew and polish up to fill your cup.

Activity

Just check in right now. Firstly, take a long slow deep breath. Feel the breath go in through your nose, travel down your throat, fill your lungs, and expand in your belly. Let it sit there for just a moment then exhale, blowing all the air out and as you do feeling a sense of release and calm. Do this a couple more times. Slow and controlled, and with an awareness of how you are already much more relaxed.

Now that you are more calm and centred, ask a few self check-in questions—

  • How are you feeling?
  • How much do you like yourself?
  • How much do you understand yourself?
  • What are you good at? What do you love doing?
  • What are your favourite things?
  • Do you reward yourself?
  • What do you dislike?
  • Are you a friend to you, or are you your own enemy?
  • Close your eyes and imagine you can see your cup, is it full, empty or half way?
  • Are you aware of your thoughts and the way you think most of the time? What about now?

Take a few minutes to make some notes on your thoughts and findings.

Your mind and thinking can be your friend or your own worst enemy. I read an article recently where William James, an American philosopher and psychologist, said, “The greatest weapon we have against stress is to choose one thought over another.” This sounds easy, yet let me make it clear right up front. It takes time, patience, and persistence to do this effectively.

Your mind has had free reign for so long it has developed its own way of viewing the world. When you start taking notice, you are going to find thoughts that create feelings that create beliefs that are either outdated or downright stupid. Some thoughts and beliefs that used to fit in your life when you were working 9—5 and coming home every evening, are not going to fit during a FIFO roster…

Kirsty 🙂

Get your copy of Separated by WorkHERE

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Making Mothers Day Special – Even When Separated By Work

Life doesn't comewith a manual,it comes with a Mother-3How Fly-In-Fly-Out workers can make Mother’s Day special for their Mum or partners from afar.

Kirsty shares her tips on how your Mum or partner can still feel spoilt, valued and special even if you are away for Mothers Day.

When she was interviewing people to share their stories in her book, she came across a particularly thoughtful FIFO worker –

“My closest friend, Gail, works with a lady whose partner works two weeks away and one week home. During one of his swings away, her daughter became ill and was hospitalised for a few days. One morning after a very stressful week, she was talking to her partner on Skype and he asked if there was anything he could do, anything at all. She jokingly said you could cook dinner tonight. They both laughed. That night after she got home from work, there was a knock at the door at 6 p.m. She walked to the door wondering who would be there at that time of the evening. She opened the door, and to her surprise, there stood the Domino’s pizza delivery boy with dinner – organised by her partner. When I heard this story, it bought a tear to my eye. It shows how we can all think outside of the box, listen to our partner’s needs and not be limited by FIFO.”

Excerpt From: “SEPARATED BY WORK.”

Take a moment to think about what your partner or Mum really likes. What is happening when you notice that they are feeling the most loved and appreciated? Is it flowers, is it things done for them, is it thoughtful gifts, is it giving freely of your time and attention, or is it just taking time to affirm how grateful you are for all they do? When you work that out you will be recognised and talked about as the best partner, son or daughter, because you took the time to acknowledge them in a way that was most meaningful to them.

Top tips on giving from afar –

  • Make it meaningful to your partner.
  • Remember that this is all about them.
  • Be original and thoughtful.
  • Be prepared – don’t leave it till the last minute.
  • Do a couple of different things, for example – call or Skype in the morning whilst you are holding a plate of eggs on toast and a flower as if you were serving her breakfast, have a gift arriving pre-organised with a friend, and get dinner delivered, or have a special container pre-frozen in the freezer that you cooked that wasn’t to be touched until Mother’s day evening.

“Love is not limited by distance or miles – Love is enhanced by connection and smiles.” – Kirsty O’Callaghan

 

 

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